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Think about what would happen if some settings were honest with families about the unspoken rules. Parents would then read a policy that said something like: ‘We are very anxious that you will accuse us of sexual or physical abuse of your children. We have decided to solve the problem by not touching them at all, not helping them directly if they have accidents (toileting or otherwise) and leaving them to get into danger or be hurt by other children. Rest assured we will not touch your children under any circumstances.’ How would that be received? How many parents would want the problem that worries teams to be solved in this way? When it is put this starkly, what head or manager would persist in this approach?

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