Hеllo,

My englіsh professor gаve me a feedback for the argumentatіve essay that you did. I got 85 %. He gave me a second chance to submit the final draft. I want you to do your best and follow his instructions in order to get a better grade. You do not need to write a new essay, just fix it based on the professor’s feedback

Here are the instructions:

1. Instead of ‘for instance’, give the reader ‘boom, this is what apowerful poem needs”. Second paragrah, the top part, is the intro and thesis. edit.

2. Daddy paragrpah: very good, but need to conclude with a sharp focus on proving your thesis. It ends on summary mode.

3. Need a transition into “Skinhead” paragraph. Here you support what the theme is, but didn’t go all the way and elaborate as to why theme makes this and poems in general powerful works of art.

4. The Brooks’ paragraph is simply summary and doesn’t add to the thesis. You’re focused on proving that it’s about violence in the black community, but don’t yet make the connection to theme and why that makes the poem so powerful.

The order number was: 81951420

A Powerful Poem
A poem is a literary piece mostly in verse rather than prose. It involves an in-depth portrayal and expression of the feelings of the poet to the readers. Readers are versatile and have varying understanding hence to reach to all, the poet has to create a powerful poem. This can only be achieved by use of literary devices for instance themes, figurative language and many others.
A theme is essential while creating a powerful poem. This is evident in different poems studied and I will focus on a few. Themes help the poet to bring out the idea in that there is what the poem says and what it is hence coming up with a language that will bring them out clearly (Hirsch, 1999). They also give meaning to the poem hence enabling the reader to understand and build on what is expressed. We can therefore, narrow down and say that themes are the reasons behind a work of art as they portray the subject matter. In “Daddy” by Sylvia Plath the themes of suffering, oppression and overcoming come out among others. For instance, “You do not do… black shoe, In which I have lived like a foot, For thirty years, poor and white, Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.” The theme of suffering comes out clearly since the persona was been denied free will and happiness “…Bit my pretty red heart in two”. The presence of the daddy scared her, “I have always been scared of you” hence she lived in a world of pain, fear and intimidation for thirty years. Towards the end it changes as then she overcomes her fears when she tries to commit suicide and fails hence this opens up her eyes. “…And they stuck me together with glue. And then I knew what to do…” From this moment a lot changes in her life as she is able to bury the hatchet and move on.
“Skinhead” by Patricia Smith brings out the theme of racial discrimination and oppression. Through the poem beauty is associated with a color in that one is superior to the other. In this white is superior to black. For instance “…Where my beauty makes them lower their heads…”this shows that the fact that he is white earns or demands respect from the blacks since they are inferior. “…I was born to make things right” this shows that your race determines a side hence being born black is wrong and it brands you inferior. Oppression comes out where in his self-proclaimed role of making things right, he beats the blacks. “…I was a little sloppy kicking some fag’s ass…” Though this, a reader is able to understand and imagine what the blacks went through because of their color.
“The Boy Who Died In My Alley” by Gwendolyn Brooks also brings out the theme of suffering. In this, it focuses on challenges facing blacks in America. For instance the violence, “The Shot that killed him yes I heard as I heard the Thousand shots before” this shows areas that blacks live in are prone to violence hence the sound of gun shots is close to a normal thing. This can only mean that its survival for the fittest. It also brings out the neglect, as there are many other shots but once someone dies that’s when the law shows up. The instances highlighted help the author come up with a work of art that is clear, communicative, moving and engaging to help the reader understand and be in touch with the work (Jeffrey, 2015).
Language can be used for various reasons such as; to instruct, command and convince. Use of language in its various capacities helps create a powerful poem. This is where we talk of diction revolving around the choice of words. This helps the poet to come out clearly in building up the idea and helps the reader to understand (Leech, 2014). For instance, “Skinhead” by Patricia Smith “…I’m just a white boy who loves his race, fighting for a pure country” the poet had to use ‘white boy’ to show which race the persona is in love with. She also uses ‘pure country’ to show that the presence of the blacks makes it impure hence the persona has to fight for its purity. “…top rung of the perfect race, …” she could have used ‘race’ but she introduced ‘perfect’ to show how great it is hence bringing out its superiority. “…I’m your baby, America, your boy …” she introduces ‘America’ to show belonging and pride in association.
“Daddy” by Sylvia Plath uses language to express the feelings of the persona and steps she takes. For instance, “…I never could talk to you…” she introduces ‘never’ to show how difficult or at no time could she express herself. This helps show how timid she was when it came to her daddy. “…At twenty I tried to die…” she uses ‘tried’ to bring out suicide in a way that one pities the persona who has been victimized enough and also show how the suffering pushes her to great extremes so much that she embraced death, just to get back at the ‘daddy.’ “And they stuck me together with glue” the sentence is complete but addition of ‘with glue’ helps us understand that the broken has been fixed. She uses it purposefully for the reader to understand its new beginnings. As the poem progresses it’s about change and the way forward.
“Kinky” by Denise Duhamel She uses different words for in-depth understanding. For instance, “…Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work…” she could have used other words but use of ‘vowed’ shows the extent of their seriousness and will to ensure they achieved this. “on cue, groped in the dark” in this case she uses ‘on cue’ to show their unity now that they are doing things simultaneously and ‘grope’ instead of holding to show how affectionate and deep the holding was. The choice of words enables the reader to come up with a distinct image of what is transpiring. The choice of words hence, helps the author to communicate with the reader and put one in a position that is engaging.
Various instances in the cited poems above show that for an author to come up with a powerful poem one needs various literary devices. These include; themes, diction and many others that have not been discussed above. The theme is the idea that an author builds to express whatever he or she has in the work of art. This is what brings out the power in the poem hence making the reader to feel attached to whatever he is reading. As for diction, it helps the author to bring out the feelings, themes and suggestions in a crystal clear manner. The choice of words also brings out deeper meanings based on the context hence bringing out a powerful work of art. This therefore, leads to the conclusion that, literary devices are crucial in production of a powerful poem.

Works Cited
Hirsch, Edward. How to read a poem: And fall in love with poetry. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 1999.
Leech, Geoffrey N. A linguistic guide to English poetry. Vol. 4. Routledge, 2014.
Wainwright, Jeffrey. Poetry: the basics. Routledge, 2015.