- Does the paper provide sufficient evidence for its hypothesis or claim?
This paper describes about three different types of faith or rather religion – Buddhism, Baha’I, and Islam. The author wants to discuss about their beliefs, practices, and how these beliefs relate with the healing process. And, at the end, it compares some of the philosophies of all the three religion with the philosophies of Christianity.
The paper describes about who founded it and how people are worshipping their under this sect. In the same manner, it describes Baha’I and Islam. The author describes very clearly the way of practices, beliefs, and healing in each of this religion. Author could add more details in this section, regarding what are the festivals that are celebrated, what their importance is, and how each celebration brings the entire community together. The author can also add few references of the holy books and describe how the God wants to establish humanity in this living world. He can then conclude from all the three sects that, the ultimate motto is to establish peace in this world and help the needy ones. Examples of healing through different phenomena of their respective Prophet can be added in order to strongly prove his claim. How people have started following that religion, and what notable points do they consider about that religion can be added at the end of discussion of each religion. This will make the hypothesis stronger and the author will be able to prove his claim.
- Does the flow of the paper and sentence structure make sense?
The flow of paper overall is correct, but there are some grammatical errors in the sentence. Further, focus of the paper is more on describing the faith and its beliefs. Very little amount of information is found on how healing is done under each of the given sect. If more examples and methods of healing under each sect are added, it will not only make the structure more appropriate, but also will make more sense to the claim.
There are few sentences where the author needs to correct in a grammatical way. And, at the end, Christianity is not described too much in detail, nor it is compared in an appropriate way. The author should try to compare more at the end, so that one can determine the similarities between Christianity and the other given faiths.
- Should it be organized in a different manner?
Well, looking at the paper from a holistic view, the information and the knowledge which he has shared is perfect. The things which are missing are few, and they need to be placed at the right places in the paper. So, as far as organization of the paper is concerned, the author is not required to do much work in this section. He needs to only add information which can support his hypothesis. There are few sentences which either needs to be elaborated or should be written in other way. We see healing as God’s will and through the faith we can accept the path he has given us (So, how should one get heal?). Baha’i believes that healing can be achieved through spiritual and physical healing and they are not separate (What is physical healing? And how one performs spiritual healing?). They believe in one God, who has revealed himself progressively through major world religions (How God has revealed himself? Is there any statistical data available to justify this?). As a result of precept practice, meditation practice and skillful choice, the Buddhist patient suffers less and has a greater sense of confidence and well being (Do every Buddhist have the same experience of healing? Does this mean that any non-Buddhist is less confident and suffers more?).
- Are all the items listed in the assignment guidelines and rubric covered and in sufficient depth?
The references are not written as per the APA format style or Harvard Referencing style. It would be better if this procedure of referencing is followed up. Further, one should not just directly write the name of link or reference; instead they should mention the author of those works, and try to interpret the meaning out of it.
Try to write paragraphs shorter and make it more meaningful. The paragraphs should be written in such a way so as to maintain the flow. Further, the author is required to do editing in the given word document. The font style, font size, and alignment need to be done appropriately. Try to highlight important information and give separate headings to such topics. And, as mentioned above, do add the required information in order to support your claim stronger and also do add the details on Christianity, so that one can easily compare its’ philosophies with others.
