Bob had been married for 12 years to Alice, had two children, and was established economically when the marriage ended in divorce. Two years later, he married Carol, 8 years his junior, who had one child by her previous husband, Ted. Bob and Carol both approached their marriage carefully, giving much thought to their relationship. Both agree that their new marriage is a big improvement over their past marriages. They find that their biggest problem is making sure they react to each other as individuals, rather than on the basis of their past relationships. This is not always easy. Bob’s past wife, Alice, is emotionally volatile, which both attracted and repulsed him. He liked Alice’s displays of happiness and enthusiasm, but hated her fits of temper and general unhappiness. Carol is placid and even-tempered. In fact, these personality traits were part of what drew Bob to her. When they do things together, however, he keeps asking her if she is having fun, if she is enjoying herself. He asks so often that Carol becomes upset at what she regards as nagging. One day she blew up at him over this. Bob reacted strongly to her negative emotional display. Once everything was calm again, they both discovered that the problem grew out of his past marriage. Bob simply expected Carol to show her enjoyment in the same way Alice had. He was not relating to Carol as an individual but was reacting in light of his past experiences with Alice. When Carol blew up at him, his reaction was much stronger than necessary. Her emotional blast activated Bob’s past dislike of Alice’s temper tantrums.